To accompany you on this journey:
Gérard Lanvin, Béatrice Dalle,
Vincent Lindon, Marie-Sophie L.,
Patrick Chesnais, Paul Préboist,
Charles Gérard, Amidou,
lsabelle Nanty, Pierre Vernier,
Jean Benguigui, Jean-Claude Dreyfus,
Catherine Lachens, François Perrot,
Constantin Alexandrov, Jean-Michel Dupuis,
Jacques Gamblin, Max Fournel,
Arlette Emmery, Elie Chouraqui,
Marie Sara, Jorge,
Amina, Eugène Berthier,
Chico, Joëlle Miquel,
André Obadia, Marie-Pierre de Gerando,
Nicolas Cuche, Jacques Bonnot,
Martine Lelouch, Madame Taragona,
Pipo, Elisabeth Croze,
André Tahon, Patrick Edlinger,
Francis Lai, Philippe Servain
and, finally, a big thank you
to Gérard Darmon and Anémone.
Come on, Doga!
Come on, Doga, come on!
That's good, Doga!
Come on, Jesus!
Come on, Jesus! Come on!
Good, Jesus!
You're the best!
Come on, Jesus! Come on!
Come on, Jesus! Come on...
Yep!
How long has it been?
l was 7 and you were 5.
You weren't even on solids.
Come on, Jesus...
l did it to impress you.
And the worst thing is l'm dumb enough to try it again.
Come on, Jesus.
Come on, not too fast... There.
Come on! Come on!
Get ready! Get ready!
Come on! Get opposite!
Opposite!
How was that?
Get opposite it! Opposite!
More?
Come on!
Good!
There!
Get in line, Marie! Get in line!
l'll bring him over!
That's good, Marie!
Hold your hand out!
That one's good, right?
Breathe in!
Nice and graceful.
Your horse, Marie!
Think of the horse, Marie. Get in line!
lt's hard before it gets easy! Remember that!
lt'll never be easy!
Go on!
Go on, laugh.
Why do bullfighters cross themselves?
They pray to the Virgin before...
before they use the banderillas, they think:
"Maybe the bull's a relative l'll hurt." You see them...
They jump back to pluck up courage for the kill.
lf the bull put up a good fight, they cut his ear off.
You can spot people who used to be bulls.
l've seen so many do this...
...and complain of back ache. They remember.
Then l understood,
on seeing the animals arrive in the arena...
l'd wonder to myself what the bull would turn out like as a man.
Some would be really tough later on
once they learned how to dodge the banderillas.
Stop! Babette, go!
- Get out! - Come here, Babette!
Hands off my sisters, especially Babette!
- She's a customer. - So you sleep with her?
- She's over 18. - Even at 60, l'll stop her coming.
- lt's a free country. - What you deal in isn't!
- l love your sister. - And she loves the shit you deal!
l never pissed you off about your bullfighter.
What's it to do with her?
From now on, l have a word to say about the bullrings. Okay?
Keep away from Babette!
Let's go!
- Cut it out! - Mind your own fucking business!
Stop pissing us off!
You're not my father!
Keep still.
Do you realize l love you?
Maybe l should have been born a horse.
By the way, l've arranged a pay-raise for you.
l never asked...
l thought you'd be pleased.
The money doesn't matter.
Marie...
l've something serious to say.
For you or for me?
For both of us, l hope.
Hi...
Can we see your house?
My house? Why?
Don't worry, we're not renting.
What have you done now?
God knows. We'll soon find out.
You've no idea?
Stuck here 24 hours a day, what could l have done?
Yeah? What does that mean?
lt's serious, really serious.
lt's not serious.
You found that in my van?
Original... l guess you see a lot of movies.
How's Doga doing?
l follow you, l guess.
You'd better.
See you later.
They're here.
l haven't finished.
She's on her way.
ls she a nun?
Wait and see...
Right... This is Bruno.
Zouzou...
- Nanar... - Delighted.
And the famous Mickey... Odona.
Odo... What?
- What's it mean? - What's Mickey mean?
Do you always fix dates in churches?
Jesus is the only guy who never let me down.
Maybe l'll be the second.
Right, guys, where to?
What does Miss Odona say?
She says Lisieux.
Why Lisieux?
Lourdes is too far for the day.
We'll do a lot of praying together.
St. Thérèse, here we come!
Come on! Dammit! Shit!
Hey, Zaza... Not so loud!
What do you expect from a guy?
Too much, l guess. Not tears anyway.
You're right.
You weren't too hot when the cops stopped us earlier.
We could still be there.
True, and maybe l'd still want you.
- François, did you open? - l locked up last night.
You were pretty far gone!
Morning.
What are you doing here?
Model prisoners get their sentence reduced.
And as l wanted to see you...
Right, get out or l'll call the police.
Old habits die hard, l guess.
l owe you nothing.
Sure you don't.
A woman, a job, a reputation... Nothing.
ln any case, that bullfighter wasn't for you.
- Yep... - l'll do you a coffee.
l was up before you.
What do you suggest?
Tell the cops you planted that shit in my car.
Are you kidding?
You don't kid anyone after prison.
We were good friends...
close friends.
"A former friend was never a friend
"My broken heart will never mend
"An accusation means a lie
"l'll never forgive the one who made me cry"
You read a lot inside.
People call you Jesus too much.
l call you a fucker.
A real motherfucker.
STEVE McQUEEN DlES MlTTERRAND TO RUN
How's your mother?
She's in Spain with her new fiancé.
Her life could fill a book.
Know anyone whose life couldn't?
She's the only woman l know
who had four kids with four different men.
l'm amazed you had three kids with the same woman.
You don't know my wife.
Until he divorces, no man does.
Hi, Jesus!
How's your mom?
Fine, l'm seeing her in Spain.
- When did you get out? - This morning.
Your bullfighter married Simon.
What would barbers do without gossip?
Heard from my sisters?
They were doing the beaches.
The beaches?
You'll probably see them at the bullring tomorrow.
THANK YOU, MR. TRlCOT
Sit down.
Well, as l don't want to cry in front of you,
l'll open it at home tonight.
Thank you anyway.
The important thing for me today,
for my last class,
if you agree, l'd like to film
your heartfelt beliefs...
My last class in this life, l mean. l'm off for a little overhaul.
We'll meet in another life and l'll ask you more questions.
When we talk about the '80s, l'll know what to say.
That's why if you suffer, so do l. lf l'm in pain, so are you.
A plant, everything lives, suffers and loves. How can l put it?
That's my heartfelt belief.
That's mine and l want to know what you,
today, what you believe in your heart of hearts.
- Are you okay? - Yeah...
When did you get out?
Yesterday morning.
Why didn't you tell us?
l had to find you.
Whose baby is that?
That's Sabaya's baby.
What do you mean?
Who's the father?
The accordion player.
Who are they?
We met them today.
As soon as my back's turned, you get a baby.
He's fair.
Like golden wheat.
Hey, musician.
You've given my sister a kid.
- Yeah. So? - Play it straight.
Maybe a mosquito.
Filthy thing!
Oh God, l killed a relative!
l'm not talking rubbish.
l said we were as one, one single thing.
lt's terrible and wonderful. lt's a fairy tale.
lt's a fairy tale even when it's terrible,
even when you think, when you say:
"There's no God, life is horrible..."
Well... it's a fairy tale.
l'd say nothing ends, everything goes on well,
and is even getting better.
lt's me!
l invited Mr. Tricot to dinner.
His last lesson was just brilliant!
His stories are amazing, he's a gold mine for us.
Be nice to your father. Your mother isn't too good.
He's back from the hospital?
He's in the other room.
l'll go to him.
Wasn't Mr. Tricot supposed to retire?
He retired today. lt was so upsetting. We all cried.
Hello... How's Mom?
Not too good.
l'll call the hospital.
Don't bother.
They're bringing her home tonight.
But she was better...
She was...
Well, Marie...
What rubbish did Mr. Tricot tell you today?
That death has more imagination than life.
Just think, Uncle, he said
death has more imagination than life.
He said that, Alex? What a silly thing to say.
Death can't have more imagination
than life, can it?
Marie, you're going to have to be very brave.
There are difficult days ahead.
This where you grew up?
Babette and l grew up here.
Like it?
Yes. You want to sleep with me?
Have you known them long?
- This afternoon at the ring. - That's right.
Mercedes, in our family we need time to get acquainted.
Come on.
A gipsy legend says you need 39 lives to love someone,
twenty-six to understand them, and one to betray them.
Know what scares me most?
Seeing your father in the next life...
Your eyes are so bright...
lt's because l'll soon be a baby again.
Teach him how to eat.
Come on, let's eat.
Like cycling?
l never thought about it. Why?
When l went to Spain to see Mom's fiancé,
l found a photo of a racing cyclist.
So what?
On the back of it, she wrote the year of your birth.
What is all this?
l searched through Mom's things and...
Was there a number or name on his shirt?
lt said: "Ripolin".
Ripolin...
Was Mom in the photo too?
Yes.
And she was smiling a lot.
What's her new guy like?
lt's a surprise.
Sorry, officer. We were going too fast but we're late.
We're really sorry.
- Engine off. - You're bikers too!
Get off the vehicle and show me the papers.
You want the papers?
lt's not just speeding.
Where did l put them?
lt's a beauty, huh?
Damn, l can't find them!
Stolen vehicle.
Stolen? The guy who lent us it never said. The asshole!
lsabelle, it's stolen. No shit!
And the papers?
He gave them to me. l'm looking. Where the hell did l put them?
l left them at home. Have you got them?
l've got no papers, l've got the keys.
The keys!
Sorry, they're at home.
lt's not our fault, we didn't steal it.
We've got a pal in hospital... lt's important.
We've got to go.
This bike's stolen.
We didn't steal it.
And our pal's really sick, y'know.
That's more important.
You're receivers.
And receivers rhymes with stealers.
What do we do then?
l need to see your papers, your personal lD, l mean.
l forgot everything. l never do usually.
l forgot. lt's dumb, huh?
lt's dumb alright. Call a car.
Oh no, not H.Q. Be nice to us. lt's not important.
Oh no, please.
What would you do?
Honestly, if you'd got a sick pal, l'd let you go.
Find another solution.
l don't know... What do you fancy?
- Are you serious? - You bet.
lf it makes you happy, l'm happy too.
She found the papers, come here!
- Your friend too? - Same thing.
No problem.
Well... not in the middle of the road.
Let's ride over to the wood.
- The wood? - Just over there.
Still want to?
Sure... but it's all so sudden.
Let's go, we're in a hurry.
- And your friend? - No problem.
Gently does it, Zaza.
The keys!
The bitches!
The fucking keys!
Call a car!
You're incompetent! lncompetent!
You're incompetent.
- lt's not my fault. - lncompetent!
Marie...
You're there, Marie. What a nice surprise!
You're 3 years old today.
Only 3! l'd love to be 3 again!
What story do you want to hear for your third birthday?
"The Bees of lsrael."
"The Bees of lsrael..."
But l told you "The Bees of lsrael" for your second birthday.
And l told you "The Bees of lsrael" for your first birthday.
"The Bees of lsrael."
Alright, the story of "The Bees of lsrael."
He promised this life of misery
would be the last they'd know.
The bees, happy to hear this,
swarmed to Jesus to savor the nectar of his kindness.
They promised
that whoever tasted their honey
would be protected for all eternity, Marie.
What do you fancy? A bit of Chanel or Saint-Laurent?
Hello!
Can l try Catherine Deneuve's perfume?
l'd like a red. Really red, but not too glossy.
Vermillion red, number 23.
Not fucshia. The varnish has to go with my lipstick.
Look, this is Rykiel red, Night and Day.
lt's really vermillion.
And when he's not fishing?
He's very kind to me.
Sure, a new broom always sweeps clean, right?
What's the guy's name?
Pipo.
Pipo! What a name!
You're an amazing woman!
So Pipo fishes with flamenco instead of maggots?
Stop it. Here in Andalusia, even the fish love flamenco.
Little sister's dancing better.
You should see her girls.
What are they like?
You'll see later. The tourists love them.
And their damn father?
No sign of him.
Hey, Myriam! lt's me!
Jesus!
A few hairs and you don't know me!
Come with me, please.
No way! You'll search us here. Get the cops if you want
but you'll search us here and then apologize properly!
Please remove that blanket...
You want me to do it? Show me what's underneath.
Hands off, okay!
That's clever! And you think breasts like that are normal?
What's wrong with my breasts?
May l, miss?
- Go on, feel! - Nothing's hidden there.
Open your coat, please.
What about your belly!
l didn't swallow it!
Open your bag, please. l don't believe this.
Calm down, we'll try to...
l want an apology now. Apologize.
You've got accomplices. l'll find them.
Search the store, find my accomplices!
Well, in 1949, the whole family
moved to a small village on the Tour de France circuit.
The Tour de France?
Very nice, and so?
Well, that day, for your good luck or bad,
a cyclist gave up in front of me.
Gave up! ln front of you?
ln front of me.
Just in front of me.
So l gave him some water...
And he gave me... a very nice smile.
And you smiled back!
Yep, and now here l am.
l'd have done the same.
The kids are doing well.
Just look at them!
Myriam taught them mostly, with some help from me.
We can count on you to add your grain of salt.
Tell me more about the cyclist.
l don't know him, l never saw him. l just gave him water.
Okay, but l'm here so it wasn't just water, right?
That's true, it wasn't just water.
You think it's funny...
Haven't l cried enough?
You never tried to find out where he was from, who he was?
He just got back on his bike and l never saw him again.
Hey, he's a hard-hearted one!
Come more often, l make progress with you.
l'm wondering about the third. We all are...
l could do a bull's-eye, call it an accident...
These things happen.
l'll give you one last word of advice.
The last one, then it's over.
An eye or you talk.
l wouldn't hesitate.
Well, go on then, choose. lt's up to you.
Two eyes, two bits of information.
Yes, hello, sir.
No, l sent you the letter to thank you
for backing me for the Financial Brigade.
Figures fascinate me...
And letters too!
Very good, sir, and a Merry Christmas to you too.
l'll tell him. Goodbye, sir.
The boss sends his best.
The darts thing is ace.
lt'll work with that damn Bobby, it'll work.
Trouble is, he's cross-eyed. l might miss.
Anyone to question two chicks?
- Beautiful ones? - Beautiful.
l'll deal with it. Come on.
Let's go.
Shit, they're beautiful. Play it classy.
Ready?
Not too pushy.
Hello, ladies.
What's that?
Their accessory.
Can l sit down?
l can...
Me too?
Have you been travelling long by wheelchair?
Since gas prices went up.
- Sorry? - Since gas prices went up.
l think we should start this interrogation...
nicely.
lt's Christmas, l'm in a good mood, l'm smiling.
- So is he. - So am l.
That's easy for you to say.
At Christmas,
we can pardon completely.
Totally.
Completely, totally, same thing.
As long as we get lots of details and a spontaneous confession.
We stole a watch.
Where did you steal it?
Cartier.
- Not in Paris? - lt's a jeweller.
Of course it's in Paris!
Which Cartier was it at?
Cartier, Montaigne.
They're rich enough anyway.
Who do you think you are?
- Who am l? - Yeah.
l'm a cop and a cop asks questions when he wants.
Especially here.
Today l can be Father Christmas.
We don't believe in him.
ln that case, the usual: name, surname and address.
No fixed abode.
So how do we ask you to dinner?
Do l know you? Haven't we met?
l don't know any cops.
Your first arrest?
No.
Did l arrest you?
Where was it last time?
ln a church in Belgium.
You collect religious art?
Yeah, especially baby Jesuses.
You don't look like a nun.
- Appearances mislead. - l only trust appearances.
Well, you look like a cop alright.
Can't you see we want to be nice?
Open the door then.
Can we have dinner?
You're kidding!
STRONGER THAN STEEL DlDlER LOUlS
l had dinner with some pals
who did the Tour with me 40 years ago.
What did they serve up?
Rabbit!
What do you want after the rabbit?
Jesus! Here! Father Christmas!
Chico!
Chico! Fucking hell! Chico!
So you're Santa?
Yep, l'm Santa this year.
Pretty snazzy.
And you?
Looking for work.
Didn't you come to Paris for an album?
We're in Paris, but no album.
l'm so glad to see you, dammit!
Chico!
Are you okay?
Yeah, but...
l saw my dad for the first time today...
What's he like?
As much of a cyclist as you're a Santa.
- Drink? - You bet!
My first drink with Santa.
Me too.
- lt'll bring us luck. - Come on.
Do you often hitch-hike?
Well, each time we need some cash.
What do you mean?
When we need pocket money.
Hold on. Sorry? l...
Usually guys pick us up to screw us.
So we get out a gun or a knife, dump them and steal the car.
Do you need dough today?
lt's the first time we've come across twins.
We're a bit thrown.
Enough joking!
C'mon, out!
Out!
Back up, you!
Freeze!
Move it!
Stay there!
No blabbing to the cops or we'll find you.
What happened?
Two bitches robbed us!
How much is there?
Twice as much as usual.
From now on, we only work twins then!
They keep saying not to pick people up.
ln fact, l'm crazy to have stopped for you. Get out!
What?
Get out! Police. l'm serious!
Get out!
Twin assholes!
"lt's our car! lt's our car..."
Maybe but l've lost it.
lt's me. l lost her.
Shit! Two guys picked them up.
l ended up with the two guys and lost her somewhere.
lt's weird, l know this chick. l know her.
l'm 100% sure of it.
New hair, new make-up and that's it,
no one recognizes you.
Why didn't l arrest her?
Because l never had this much fun following someone!
You feel like helping some people. Does that suit you?
Haven't you ever felt like that?
C'mon, clear off and don't come back!
That fucker was in my van!
l'm no whore! l'm no whore!
You piss me off, l've had it. You're shit in bed!
You can go fuck yourself! Go on, fuck off!
Cunt! Bitch! Fuck off, Martine!
Or else you'll be in for it! l'll fucking get you!
What d'you want?
- l want Mr. Bonnot. - l'm Mr. Bonnot.
Chico sent me.
Come with me.
- He said you had a job free. - Yes, l need a biking ace.
Horses are more my scene.
Ah, we've only got wooden ones. Let's talk anyway.
Fuck, we'll all end up gay.
How much?
lt's a gift.
lt's so moving.
You're skeptical.
lt's hard to believe animal lives are periods of rest.
They do nothing.
They eat, drink, sleep, reproduce...
Like us when we're on vacation.
lt's an opportunity to think about life and stock up on ideas.
l don't know...
Shall l wrap your mother?
- Thank you so much. - My pleasure, miss.
Tell me, trees and flowers.
Where do they stand?
l was rocked by fairy tales, my parents made puppets
and so l was brought up by puppet stories.
Look Kraki, even if it's not as old as that,
we'll make a killing with a piece like this!
No, the first Christs date from the 10th or 1 1th century.
This one is from Christ's day.
lt's hard to believe. l'm not convinced.
But Pierre says so and the market listens to him.
When's he going to speak? As usual, when he's sure.
$1 .5 million.
Dollars, yes.
There'll be a fight. lf Pierre says it's genuine,
every museum in the world will want it.
We'll have the lab results around 7:00 p.m. Will you call back?
Alright, Kraki. Goodbye.
Why the hard-sell on Kraki?
We may sell the world's top forgery and l'd rather a bastard buy it.
This should be in a major museum. l'll do everything possible for that.
- That's your belief? - Yes, and the evidence is slight.
Come here.
See that? What is it?
The irreparable damage of time.
lt's a bee.
Why a bee just there?
Who knows? He liked honey so...
That's funny. But not that dumb.
We'll have two bikes, then three...
For the finale, they'll cross paths three times in a row!
All for 10 francs!
Lovers of spectacle and sports, get your tickets here!
We live life to the full!
Let's hear it!
ls it working? l can't hear a thing!
lt should work, it's hooked up.
l can't hear him. ls that you, Jesus?
l can hear him. Speak louder, Pipo hooked this up!
Give him my love.
Jean-Luc Limousin on his wheels from hell!
He risks his life on each lap!
Let's give him a big hand!
l read your sister's hand. You're going to meet a woman.
You saw that in Myriam's hand?
Her hand or yours, no difference!
You've never read hands that well.
Hurry, cars are coming.
Calm down a bit!
l'll end up in prison, not you. l'm the one up here.
lf you borrow, remember to pay back.
lf l borrow, l'll remember to pay back.
Follow the river and reach the sea. This is the sea.
Right, left, ahead, behind, Paris is the sea!
Yes, Paris!
We'll bite it, devour it!
Close your eyes. Keep them closed.
Fire.
Death. That's interesting... Death next to Love.
Love passes via death, not your death...
Paris, we're here, don't worry!
The big wheel, big thrills. Let's go!
C'mon all you Parisians, big wheel, big thrills!
Come in.
You sent for me?
Yes, no more swimming in my pool.
Sorry?
No more swimming in my pool!
What pool?
Martine, my wife, is my pool!
You're mistaken. l don't do things like that.
l'm a dumb asshole, huh?
No, but l can't help it if your wife's eyes undress men.
You're calling her a whore?
Mr. Bonnot, you've hurt me all day, now l pity you.
- ls that all? - That's all.
We're now going to sell lot 13,
this wonderful Christ, which recently hit the headlines
and which was discovered in the conditions you know of.
ls it real or a fake? That's for you to decide.
To help you, our expert, Mr. Pierre Lhermitte,
has provided the latest X-rays
which you have examined
and on which he has based his heartfelt belief.
This Christ apparently dates from the first century.
With this in mind, bidding opens at 5 million francs.
5 million!
l knew the price was reasonable. 6 million!
7 million.
- 8 million. - 500!
8.5 million! 9...
10... 1 1...
l didn't see you behind the gentleman.
12...
13 million.
Thirteen isn't a lucky figure, let's hope that tonight....
13 million...
18 million in New York, a good day for Jesus!
19 million.
20... 21...
21 in Paris. 23...
24...
25... 26...
Here come the Japanese!
Things are going to start hotting up now.
26... 30...
30 million!
32...
Paris?
35 million...
40 million in Japan.
Come on, France! 40 million in Japan. Please...
40... 41 ...
42...
43... Thank you.
43... 44...
45... 45 million.
47 million in Tokyo.
Let's keep it in France...
48 million...
48 million. Not your bid, ma'am.
49 million...
49 million, sir.
52... Smile, sir, that's all the lady wants.
52... We can't let this Christ go to Tokyo.
Christ wasn't Japanese.
52 million...
52 million, l'll have to...
52, once...
52, twice...
l can't. Sir, make an effort to keep this Christ in France.
Come on, France! Make an effort! We can't let this Christ go!
55 million, no, 54, sorry...
54.5 and it's yours, sir.
Ma'am, smile at him, please. Smile at him.
54 million. Well, l have to do it. 54 once...
54 twice...
l can't believe it. 54 twice.
Go ahead, sir, kiss her hand.
That's not enough, sir, you have to say 55.
This Christ, the first Christian is going to leave
for the land of the rising sun.
Sold. Thank you.
Twenty years! l've had enough, l tell you!
Screw your wheel!
You're glad enough to get the cash from my big wheel!
For Christ's sake! You get everything l make!
Cut the crap, Martine, okay?
Just tell me the truth. Where were you?
At my mother's.
Goddammit! l said cut the crap!
You piss me off, Martine. l'm so fucking sick of you!
What the hell is this? Cut it out!
Where were you?
Up there, floating above all the assholes!
- lt's not a hotel! - l stop anyone stealing it!
What's up? Tell me!
The big wheel, the wall of death, and her too... l'm selling the lot!
Sell it, and l won't have to see your ugly mug!
Okay, okay...
- lt's not okay! - She's screwing around!
Screwing around? Prove it!
She's the proof. Look how she's dressed!
You love her like that!
l love her in long dresses!
A long dress? For fuck's sake!
Go away...
You're the fairground Gloria Swanson!
Just look at you, you're made to be cheated on!
- What a morning... - l'll kill you some day, Martine!
Why? He's pissed off 'cause you look good.
l like him! l do!
Make the most of it!
l fancy him, not you!
Hello, children.
Hello, flower lady.
My secret is that bees never sting good children.
Bees do sting sometimes...
No! Not good boys and girls.
Really? Let's see.
Has anyone been good enough to kiss the bee?
That way, we'll see if it stings.
Salomé, do you want to kiss it?
Come on, Salomé.
No, l'm scared.
lf you're scared, that means you're naughty. Have you been good?
Kiss the bee then.
l'm too scared.
You're a good girl. lt won't sting, l promise.
You can kiss it. She promised.
Well done, Salomé!
Any other good children?
Come on, hurry... Morgane and Julie... Come on.
Well done!
Come on, Morgane, kiss the bee!
You too? Alma, do you want to?
And you, Julia?
You know that means good luck?
Thank you, Mrs. Bee, for being nice to the children.
Have you been good too?
Wait a minute, we'll see.
Does it tickle, miss?
How far is it going to go?
Now, if you listen hard, the honey and hives are buzzing
with this unbelievably strong love
which is still alive after 2,000 years.
When you eat that honey now,
you feel the same amazing sensation as Jesus,
the wonderful feeling of happiness and fulfillment.
What you'll do best won't be what you learn at school,
especially what you learn here,
but what you learned long ago.
lt takes centuries to know a thing and how to do it.
Love is always the result of a journey and an experience.
For instance, l had my love for bees way before l started studying them.
l felt l knew them and l was related to them.
lt's the same with people.
When you meet someone and feel good with him or her,
you know them already.
Once, in the mountains, l was on a face
and l knew how to climb it.
For some reason, l felt l already knew the mountain from somewhere.
Our best deeds are the result of our subconscious.
lt's the memory without memory that inspires our greatest acts,
the memory of nothing
which knows everything about us.
How can we find the memory l mentioned?
By not being scared to question it.
Just as the Earth needs space, we need our dreams.
They're our eternity.
No dream is innocent.
Don't be scared to remember them, to use them, above all use them.
Don't be afraid because nightmares always end
with beautiful stories.
Can we shoot a round?
lt's closed, sir.
Well, open up, my man!
l can't do that. l just change the bulbs.
Do you know who l am?
No, but l'd like to.
The Count de Gerando, lord of the manor and mayor.
Five hits and the Count gets a teddy!
Careful or l'll close you down.
Go ahead, l just work here.
That's the rules. Five hits and you get a teddy.
The rules are this is my land.
As you want it, but five hits gets you a teddy.
Too bad! No teddy!
You asked to see me, sir?
Yes, Marie, come in...
Sit down.
l sent for you because l've had a lot of letters
from parents concerning you.
Too many letters.
And they aren't writing to congratulate you.
They complain about your methods.
lf you're selling, l'll buy.
Selling what?
You keep going on about selling the whole lot.
So l'm buying.
You won the lottery?
You could say that...
l need to know where the money's from.
Let's just say it's a miracle.
That's normal if your name's Jesus.
ls the cash clean?
lt soon will be.
You can tell they work for God as death doesn't scare them.
ln three weeks, they know they'll die in ecstasy in a flower.
lt's like ecstasy. A bee's whole life is ecstasy.
lt's an endless sacrifice.
You could say it's suicide but it's not. Death doesn't scare them!
And this business of bees swarming over Christ on the cross.
Where's that from?
Bees gathered the nectar of Christ 2,000 years ago just like a flower.
They gathered His nectar, His purest essence,
the transmissible and intransmissible.
lt's just a story. lt's not fact.
We can tell beautiful stories like that.
lt's a story l tell children.
You know children take everything at face value.
That's their strength.
That's true, until the time comes
when they learn Father Christmas doesn't exist.
l want them to believe in him, l'm sure he exists.
lf l tell the pupils' parents
that Marie is staying to teach about Father Christmas,
what will they say?
l think it's Christmas every day.
We don't see the gifts every minute brings.
lt's a fairy tale. We can't see life's a fairy tale.
Centuries ago, you'd have been burned as a witch
for teaching...
l was burned in the Middle Ages!
You were young then.
l was burned then so let me speak now.
School is a place where children
have to learn following a planned programme
which can't be disturbed by dizzy people like you.
So l'm dizzy now?
l'm afraid we'll have to dispense with your services.
You know l respect you greatly
and this won't change my opinion of you.
l'll give you the references you may require
to find employment in a private school
where your theories may be accepted
more readily than here.
l'm afraid l have to do this, even though l don't like to.
There's nothing more to say?
l no longer teach at this school?
l'm afraid that's the case.
You're giving in to parents
who don't understand what l'm teaching the children.
l'm not giving in. l have to consider...
l know you agree with Mr. Tricot and me.
l won't profess my personal beliefs...
But the important thing is to say what we believe.
l won't teach history or geography
when it's more important to learn to eat, to listen,
to know who they are, to see what's best in them,
to figure out what they want to do or don't want to do,
the reasons why they hate school...
Can l help you?
Yes, please.
What kind of bike do you want?
l don't want a kind of bike but a kind of father.
Our bikes are made to measure.
How much is this one?
13,000.
Pretty high price, Dad.
On a bike like that, hills are plain sailing.
- And this one? - 4,950.
That's better, Dad.
You need to learn to ride again with that one.
This one's your racing one?
That's right. l raced on it, before you were born.
You're right there.
Didier, phone!
Just a second.
Watch that guy, he's weird. He calls me dad.
Yes... You got it all? l'll call you back.
l said that one's not for sale!
lt's my favorite.
Why do you call me Dad?
ln '49,
between Le Puy and Millau, you gave up.
A pretty gypsy girl gave you water.
You gave her a son.
What's your name?
Jesus Taragona.
Where am l? l've no idea.
She's getting married and l'm pissed off.
How much?
20,000 but it's a lot nicer.
lt's lovely. lt really suits you.
- Your first marriage? - No, not really.
Come and look in the mirror. Look how it suits you.
lt's not the first then?
l must have done it in a past life.
Can you remember it?
Sometimes, on good days.
lf your fiancé doesn't mind... Lovely dress...
You can say that again!
Have you known him long?
We shared a dream 2,000 years ago.
How old is he?
He's 33.
Do you have a photo? l love photos of lovers.
Here, this is him.
That's Jesus.
Of Nazareth, himself.
lf he wants me that is.
What?
She's cleaning Paris out, okay?
l'm not likely to arrest her except in church!
Can l ask one last favor?
We want to arrive at church on motorbikes.
Can l just sit on my friend's bike to see what it's like?
Of course you can.
A black bike with that white...
lt will be just perfect...
l took the best.
lt's a nice one.
l hope she won't be in trouble, she was nice.
l think the cops are on to us.
- Where? - Behind.
ls he still there?
You bet he is, the fucker.
- Do we know him? - We know so many of them!
lsabelle! The truck!
Shit! Here, quick!
Oh, fuck! l don't fucking believe it!
lt's not my fucking day.
Why was l on the sidewalk?
Hello! This is Simon Choulel.
Crash, Place Dauphine. Send two ambulances!
Place Dauphine! Where the hookers are!
Stop the traffic!
ls there a doctor here? A doctor?
A doctor!
Don't touch.
lf there's no doctor, nobody touches them or gets near!
How long ago? Hurry, l'm alone!
Hurry.
lsn't there a doctor? Nobody?
There, stand aside! Do me a favor.
lf there's nothing you can do, go away!
There's nothing to see!
Who's the owner of the truck?
Please help, l'm alone. Stand back!
Help me! Stop the traffic! Do something!
Miss, can you hear me? Can you hear me?
Miss, can you hear me?
l'm sorry.
Stand back! You, stop the traffic! Hurry!
You, stop it here.
Someone keep an eye on them!
Give me your coats! Coats!
Cover her up!
You stay there!
Stand aside! Stop the traffic!
Someone here!
How long ago?
Hurry, l'm alone! Alone!
Help's on its way!
There, gently does it...
Be careful...
Gently...
l'm here, l'm coming with you.
l'm going with her!
Come with me.
They can take both of us!
- She'll be in intensive care. - l'm going! She's my friend!
She's injured. l can't...
Don't touch me!
l can't let you go with her. l can't.
lf l wanted to, l couldn't.
l'm a policeman, l can't. Come on!
Shut the doors! Help me!
Come on! Just calm down!
Wasting time here won't help her!
l won't!
Come on! Come on, hurry!
They've got to get her to hospital!
Well?
She's in a coma, her spine's damaged.
Shit! Fucking shit!
The salesgirl got the number. We can't let her go.
Come on.
- Want me to stay? - Yes, come on.
- Well? - She's unconscious.
- ls she alive? - Yes, but unconscious.
l'll go to her.
You can't do that. She's unconscious.
l want to see her!
She's in a deep coma. You can't go now.
- l want to go! - You can't.
Why not? You fucker, you told me l could!
He didn't know then that the woman got your number.
l'll say you wanted to screw me!
Calm down!
Can you go outside? Take them out.
Thank you. Now sit down...
There. Get out. Thanks...
Can't you see l want to help?
Understand? We've had a hideous misunderstanding.
ls your place Ali Baba's cave?
Why did you chase us?
l wasn't. You raced off. l wanted to tell you it was okay!
l won't go to prison alone! You can't play with people's lives!
l don't play with people's lives!
Keep it down!
l'm not playing with lives! l've let you run free for two years!
You stink of death! lf lsabelle's hurt, l'll kill you!
Okay, l stink of death. l'm in love with you. ls that wrong?
And your love kills?
- l'm a cop! - Cut it out!
- l'm a cop! - Change jobs!
Really discreet!
Everybody knows now!
ls there anyone you can call?
The only one is dying!
And your fiancé?
The dress is for a friend!
Now get me out of here! You've fucked us over!
Do you realize what you've done? Do you?
Calm down!
No, l won't!
Calm down, dammit! Will you calm down?
Let go of her!
Calm down, just calm down, okay!
l want to marry you too!
Marry you? Who the hell do you think l am?
Just look at yourself! Asshole!
Seeing as we can't move our heads,
they should fit us with rear-view mirrors.
Today, the wailing wall,
has given me a few quotations from your favorite writers.
Let's try to comment on them together.
So note the first quotation:
"Eternity is hardly any longer than a night in jail."
"Where my life failed, my death will succeed."
"The commandments should have been carved on our asses."
"Now l know both, l'd rather be in jail than in a man's arms."
Arms with an "s" because there are two of them.
"Prison isn't a church. l arrived a whore and l'll leave the same."
"Men are as small and tart as gherkins
"and they have a sell-by date as well."
And finally: "What is a man after all?"
What is a man for you, Odona?
l'm at gherkins...
No problem. What's a man for you?
l don't know, l'll tell you after class.
l'm sure you'll walk again, even if we have to go to Lourdes.
That asshole of a cop promised to stay out of our lives
and that you'd stay in the state hospital.
My attorney is sure l'll be out in two years.
Long enough for you to recover and me to study.
Especially as the teacher's eyes could get you through any exam.
lf he's not too married.
l already got his photo.
Are you asleep?
How can l sleep when he's with his wife?
l'm waiting for dawn like a condemned prisoner.
Are you sure he's 33?
Can l have a word with you?
Of course.
Have you got children?
Two and a half.
What do you mean?
The third's almost here.
You must love your wife.
A little, yes, a little...
truly, madly, deeply, or not at all.
lt depends on a lot of things.
When you get to "not at all," think of me.
Very good, miss.
l've got a beautiful story for you too.
l was so sure l was 100% finished
that the 30% l have left gave me wings.
And l've met a pair of knock-out eyes as well.
They're all he has left, l hope he used them to spot me.
ln any case, l'll use my 30% to give him the works.
Coming swimming?
Wait till l get up the avenue.
Anyone coming swimming?
His eyes are as blue as the pool and l don't know his name.
Wow, l'm getting shy.
Hey, aren't you in the water yet?
Everyone here calls him Mr. 15% .
We're all proud of our percentages here.
And everyone says l make a lovely 30% .
The governor got an anonymous letter about us.
We have to be careful.
Shit, cycling's tough.
See that little valley? See it?
That was where. With your mom.
l was resting.
lnstead of taking the van, l stayed with her.
Fucking hill!
Look at it!
Just think! lf l hadn't thrown in the towel...
Well, you wouldn't be here!
- Where's Odona? - ln her cell.
Thanks, Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
You made it.
l said l forgot something important, which is true.
Happy New Year.
Will it be a happy one?
Of course, you're getting out.
Will you be there?
- Don't you want me to? - No.
Why?
You've got a gorgeous wife.
You don't know her.
A guy like you has to have a gorgeous wife.
Thank you.
Who knows what was in that letter.
ln any case, the governor asked me to sleep with him.
And?
l spat in his filthy face.
Zaza!
Come and meet Nicolas.
Not bad, you lucky cow!
He's only got his lovely eyes left.
Hi, Nicolas. She's told me so much l feel l know you.
This is Odona.
Can l kiss you?
Your appointment, my Lord.
So what couldn't you tell me over the phone?
Here, you'll soon see.
Open it, then you'll see.
l'm afraid l don't understand.
Three years ago, you were burgled.
That's right.
lt brought me luck.
As l believe luck is only loaned, l'm here to pay my debts.
l say luck but l mean fate too.
Few hunts stop at shooting stands.
l give back what l borrow,
out of superstition.
We're a bit wary about that.
A drink?
l noticed the place is for sale.
As it brought me luck
and as l have a large family...
Cognac? Whisky?
Aren't you here to find me a job?
Yes, you're right.
A stupid question...
Qualifications?
l just got my diploma.
Wonderful. Which one?
The P diploma.
The P? Which one's that?
The prison diploma.
You have a record?
Yes, l have a record.
Family?
l'm single and my mom killed my dad.
She did?
Then she killed herself 'cause my step-dad fancied me.
That's terrible. What a story.
l don't understand...
Why don't you write instead of working?
lt's been done before.
ln prison, they called me Cosette.
That's nice... Sorry.
Whose turn is it? Sir? Ma'am?
Excuse me a second.
Hello.
Police.
The young woman who just left, did you find her work?
l can't say. Why?
l want to know if you found her a job.
Follow the river and reach the sea. This is the sea.
Right, left, ahead, behind, Paris is the sea!
Yes, Paris!
THlS lS lT
What's that?
That's my room. You're not the only one in here.
- Great! - That's to keep an eye on me.
Count on me, you'll see.
Mother Christmas has brought gifts.
An antique watch, a real antique for Nicolas.
Something pretty for Snow White, pearls, real ones!
Great gift-wrapping!
You said it.
- And the job? - Who knows...
l answer phones at auctions...
Ladies and gentlemen, lot number 39,
this wonderful Renoir, a fine Christmas present
for the person lucky and rich enough to buy it.
And he'll need to be rich.
Tonight, we have the whole world on line,
a world l know will be very keen
to buy this "Woman in a Boat".
l personally would have loved to go on a cruise with her.
Well...
l'd like to remind you
that Renoir painted this with his friend Monet
on the Seine at the same time.
lt's a detail but you should know
if you find a "Woman in a Boat" by Monet,
you can collect them.
She swindles her bosses?
lf you agree, we'll open bidding at 10 million francs,
which seems reasonable.
Why are you so interested in bees?
Especially the bees of lsrael...
The bees of lsrael...
lsrael! Why?
l mean, bees are the same everywhere.
Why lsrael?
The bees of lsrael...
Hold on, l'll try to understand.
l'm going to lsrael for the honey
made with 2,000-year-old hives. lt's magical.
All the religious orders around there
buy the honey. l want to examine it.
That's it!
Some people read coffee grounds, you'll read honey!
You'll be a fortune-teller
with a crystal beehive!
This honey... The bees haven't moved for 2,000 years.
They can tell me things.
Forgive me delaying you,
but l'd like to congratulate you for that Tokyo bid.
l mean it. l'm an expert.
lt's a chance in a million but l'll try it.
Can l invite you to dinner?
Sorry, l'm celebrating Christmas in hospital.
ln hospital? l've got nothing against hospitals.
Okay, l'll buy that.
You're on? No kidding?
Wait here while l get my coat.
You're serious? l'll be right back.
We pack them in at Christmas!
lt's only 8:00! People go out after midnight. l'll call you back.
- Are you ready? - Close your eyes.
You can look now.
Merry Christmas, my Lord.
We're mid-way in the sun and earth's existence,
mid-way through our lives.
Ten billion years to experience the joy and misery,
to have time to play every part.
You believe in God?
l believe in what l don't know.
Remember what Carl Lewis said.
lf l run this fast, if l have this need to run,
maybe it's because l was stopped from doing it in a previous life.
So l want to dedicate this Christmas Eve
to all who have a breath of eternity,
all who believe there are lives when you learn to love
and lives when you do love.
To simplify my Christmas tale,
we're going back in time.
Just 2,000 years
to a time when a man had such an effect on people
that they decided to start counting all over again.
This man was more like a resistance fighter than a god
and most of his miracles
may be the result of the imagination
of those who couldn't find words to describe his courage.
So, on that day, in Judea,
this resistant was visiting the poorest of the poor,
the sick, the handicapped, the outcasts.
They fought not only for the Romans' refuse
but also for the honey of the wild bees,
hidden in the dangerous areas of the ghetto.
Who was that girl?
She leaves a weird feeling.
Can you repeat that?
Remember our first time here? You talked of past lives.
l was in love, ready to say anything.
l was in love.
Well, l...
l'm more and more convinced l've known her ages.
l don't know...
Don't start on past lives!
l'm not starting on anything.
l spend hours following her, just following her.
l can't help wanting to.
- Thanks. - No, l mean it.
Nothing frightens me more than illness.
lf the priest's right, it's okay.
You've no questions for me?
Your face tells me everything.
The easiest thing then is to start with my date of birth.
Thank you.
l've bought you something that sums up all my teaching.
lt's a Father Christmas candle.
l hope you'll never light it because if you do it'll melt.
And you won't find it in another life.
ls it your first dance for the handicapped?
ln any case, l'm sure we've met before.
Last time l heard that, it meant trouble.
Does an expert like you make mistakes?
Sometimes in my private life, but tonight, l'm sure.
Hold on, l'm not part of your private life yet.
Want to hear about your successor?
You don't waste any time!
Great.
He doesn't just follow me.
What d'you mean?
We end where we started, at the Moulin Rouge.
Be quiet, please!
You never saw a can-can before?
So what happens now?
l'll try to spend the rest of the night with him.
But before l go,
l'm going to tell you, in no particular order,
a truth
and a lie.
You decide which.
l never cheated on you.
l love you.
They're giving the baby his first impressions of music.
That way, he'll sing, dance or make music.
What did you say?
l explained how we make our young dancers.
Maybe l'm imagining it, but she took his hand!
Calm down. She's having fun.
She has been for 20 years!
So it doesn't matter!
Martine, l saw you, just wait!
You're in for a fucking treat when you get down, you bitch!
Hey Jesus, do you think there'll be a war?
As long as there are nuts like you, there'll be wars. Just calm down.
Okay, okay.
You've got beautiful eyes.
We've drunk too much.
No we haven't, it's Christmas.
l don't understand. Did you get it wrong?
Oh, you know... None of that really matters.
- Blow it out. - Let's do it together.
lt's just great, but l can't afford it.
That's no problem. Who mentioned money?
l did, it's my only problem right now.
Odona, l'd be pleased to pay for it for you, really.
l may not be ready for all this.
Look, you'll pay me back when you can.
This is the bedroom.
And the bathroom...
Can l try out it for 24 hours to see the vibes here are good?
The vibes?
To see if l like it...
lt's not really agency policy...
lf you want an answer tomorrow, that'll let me try the place
and this gentleman tonight.
Well... You can do what you want
once the lease is signed.
We'll sign right away. Come on.
lf the lady doesn't like it, l'll keep it.
That's okay then.
- Sorry, did l dream aloud? - No, but don't apologize.
You must dream. Dreams are the brain's relaxation.
A dreamless night is a useless night.
My dreams dream too much.
And it's always the same dream.
A nice one?
Yes, l'm a hooker and always go with the same guy.
And last night, that guy looked a bit like me, right?
- Not really. - Okay.
He's always the same but he has no name.
What do we do?
Don't start decorating now, we'll continue the trial period.
You'll drive me crazy. You maniac.
Morning, Financial Brigade.
The accounts are here. You're early.
l'm starting the year early.
Everything's ready.
Hey, isn't that a Gauguin?
- lt's really interesting. - lt's beautiful.
Some crafty devil cut it in two to sell it twice.
But l'm crafty too, and l spotted it
because something's missing here.
Hello. Are you the ad?
Your ad...
Hello. l'll go on in.
- You're a teacher? - l was but no one wanted me.
What?
l was more interested in the kids than the programme.
Come inside and talk. lt's cold.
Happy New Year. l hope we have a good one together.
l didn't understand the ad. The pupils are aged from 2 to 70?
lt's a large family and we didn't have time for school.
We need a school that can follow us.
- You like to travel? - lt depends. Maybe...
Travelling...
My Lord! Hurry! lt's started!
Come on, that could be another pupil.
- What's your name? - Marie.
l'm Jesus.
Sorry?
l know, people react like that.
l'm ready to try it.
You chose the right day to arrive.
This is no audit, it's a massacre! What'll l have left?
Your accounts are a disaster!
When you work throughout the world,
you have to have accounts everywhere.
The Bank of France has to authorize transfers.
Understand?
What have you got against me? What?
Hey! You're lucky l don't search your place.
You dreamed aloud.
What did l say?
l don't know. Something about massacres and audits.
There's a real bastard after me so it's normal.
- Expecting someone? - No.
What's going on?
Your accounts require us to conduct a search, Mr. Lhermitte.
- This early? - Yes.
This is Jacques Blame, from Customs
who is empowered to do this sort of thing.
Can we come in?
Sorry it's such a mess, but l'm on trial right now.
On trial?
l live with a young woman who's sleeping next door
and when we're more sure about each other,
we'll decorate, with nooks and crannies
and that'll be great to search.
Don't worry, l can do a great search anyway,
even if there's not much here.
First, this Gauguin. lt follows you everywhere.
- Why's it here? - l use it before it's sold.
l use it, l said.
Right...
l'm here to find something and l'll find it.
lt's okay, Pierre, it's me he wants.
- You? Here? - And you?
l'm empowered to...
to find his illegal accounts.
What is this? You know each other?
He's followed me for years, hassling everyone.
No, don't get me wrong.
lt's a small world and l'm here by chance.
l'll swear on that.
Don't listen to him. He's here, causing trouble, because of me.
That's not true.
l'm here because his accounts stink
and my job is to sniff out accounts that smell bad.
He's lying.
What about? His accounts? Or my being here by chance?
Both.
What do l have to do for you to believe me?
Drop your inquiry.
Alright, l'll drop it.
Are you coming?
What's going on?
Where was l? At the bank.
Come on! How do you think l buy rides?
Anyway, we got the new ride for this summer.
Sure and certain.
Right, listen... Okay... Take care.
l'm the "T" and l bring the King tenacity.
And l'm the "S",
and l bring you sagacity.
This is such fun!
To play with words ( mots) climb up the "M"
slide through the "O",
ascend the "T"
and then slide down the "S"
to play with words.
This is such fun! l'd like to play with words too.
What do l have to do? Climb up the M?
What fun! Slide through the "O".
Ascend the "T" and then slide down the "S".
Words are fun!
Darling, you should try. Really you should.
To play with words,
climb up the "M", slide through the "O",
ascend the "T"
and then slide down the "S",
to play with words.
You know Kraki well?
He hasn't bought recently without consulting me first.
Where is Kraki now?
Where all the gun runners are.
l can only work within France.
Maybe l can get him here.
Why could l arrest him?
He's started buying stolen paintings.
ln the act?
That's what l'm trying to tell you.
You really love her?
Yes.
Know where she's from?
A fine painting.
An expert in chicks too?
So what about Kraki? Where is he right now?
ln lsrael.
Tell me... Your work of art... Are you going to marry her?
Was your audit a genuine coincidence?
lt was a coincidence.
Unbelievable! Kraki!
You said it! Kraki!
Customs or Finance?
Hold on, forget all that!
Kraki's just for you and me.
How do we get him back?
That's the easy part!
He'll come for the paintings!
lt has to be good though. What can you offer?
l've got a Dufy or two.
A few Vuillards from Brussels customs.
We need a star to get Kraki to Paris. A star.
- They're in museums. - That's it, that's a great idea!
Where would Customs be without you?
l often wonder.
This is something else. Wait for the Police Awards!
We'll get them all, Best Cop, Best Team, Best Catch.
And what does Kraki get?
Shit of the Year!
Good afternoon, a new French air raid on Kuwait.
Another success with no French losses.
We are awaiting confirmation of the news
that lraqi forces have launched
a ground attack on Allied forces in Saudi Arabia.
lraq claims to be occupying Saudi territory near the border
and to have captured a group of Allied soldiers.
We're awaiting confirmation for later in this edition.
Our guest is the lnterior Minister
here to discuss the terrorist threat in France
and our reports from the Gulf.
But the main question today
concerns lsrael's reaction after last night's attack.
lt may mark a change in this war which lsrael is not fighting,
with three dead and 96 injured.
A Scud missile missed by the Patriots
fell on Tel Aviv.
Our correspondent, LoÏc Berrou.
lt's not a real war. lt's economics to save the dollar.
Don't go, l feel bad about it.
ln business, guys like Kraki are the most dangerous.
lt'll be my way of fighting.
And doing a good deal too!
Hey, you're a pretty fast thinker!
l love you too, Pierre.
Not as much as you want but there's hope.
What do you like best about me?
The way you go wild over a few square inches of truth.
That's all? l'd better step up my efforts then.
What's so interesting about that?
l feel as if l can hold you back.
Try it! Just try it and see.
- Marie... - Over here.
Here l am.
Hello, what's your name?
ls he the one you've fallen in love with?
Be quiet, it's a secret. You're not nice.
No, it's interesting.
Exactly. Tell us if you're in love with him or not.
You're being silly.
What's all this about you going to lsrael?
lt's an old project.
ls this the right time?
More than ever.
She's sure it's the time.
She may not come back.
Are you scared of dying?
Not keen on it but not scared.
l'm not really reassured.
l'm not taking you to lsrael. You're staying.
What's with lsrael?
An old dream l want to check on.
Your first visit?
Yes, it's wonderful.
Watch out for miracles.
Talking of miracles, l thought she was in Japan.
That's not the only thing you thought was in Japan. Come on.
How many companies do you have?
One in every country. Suit you?
That suits me.
And what are you doing here?
Here, l'm just a tourist with a passion for art.
This way...
You're well protected.
lt's this way, come on.
This way...
l see!
For me, this is the best place to admire beauty.
Wonderful. lt's more and more beautiful.
So, the paintings?
Wait until the war ends. l can't leave now.
My customers are rushed.
So are the Americans.
How far have we come?
Almost seven miles.
Let's spend the first night here, l'm whacked.
lf we stop every seven miles, it'll take a month.
ln a month, you'll be walking and l'll be armless.
Just stop bitching for five minutes!
Like this...
That story you told me. Was it for real?
Yeah, and they went from Paris to Lourdes.
Just think. ln 1930, they didn't have wheels like these.
So stop moaning, okay?
And in the end, he could walk?
Can l give you a lift anywhere?
That's nice of you.
lt's nice of you but we vowed to go all the way to Lisieux.
The two of us.
Good luck.
Sorry l slowed you down. Be careful.
l think l've found a way of getting him to Paris.
He has to do the round trip in a day.
Of the five paintings, he's most interested
in the Modigliani of course.
Will one day be enough for you?
l'm staying in the same hotel, the King David.
l'll call you when l know the day. Okay?
How's it going?
lt's kind of tough.
The first two days were fun but it's too hard.
Especially camping. lt's cold.
Go to a hotel. You've got a cold.
Zaza says we can't leave the road
and the harder it is, the more likely we are to succeed.
So we're freezing.
And Kraki?
l used to think
movies made up guys like him.
l hope to get him to Paris.
lf we wait until the war ends, he's ready to come.
lt's really unpleasant betraying someone, even a shit.
Maybe l'd have preferred that audit instead.
You don't have to bring him back.
True, but then again,
the fewer guys like Kraki there are,
the better off we'll be.
You have to start fast and not stop.
See, it's just a hill. You mustn't stop, that's all.
Straight and steady.
Can we lend you a hand?
No, don't do that!
You're going to wreck everything!
Take us back to where we were, back down there.
You'll spoil everything. You see, it's important...
There. Thanks.
Thanks, boys.
Drive safely.
Everything okay?
Need anything? Are you looked after?
Not too many guys?
l'm still an hour from the Beehive Mountain.
l can see it ahead.
l can't go on!
Don't crack up!
Wait for me!
l'm near Rolleboise.
The whole Tour de France is child's play compared to this.
lt's quite a sight.
l'll push you.
Anybody here?
Everything's okay.
He's charming, like all top crooks. He has to be.
l don't like his methods but the man himself is kind of...
Once he's in prison, l'll go to see him from time to time.
Do we still have our contact in airport security?
Yeah, l've got a twin sister.
She's nothing like me. We don't get on.
Nothing like me at all.
You know her?
lt's difficult to talk about.
lt's kind of difficult. We were...
We were on duty and we stopped her for speeding on the...
- At Senlis. - Yeah, Senlis.
She got on her high horse right away.
Just like her.
Well, as l charged her... Can l say this?
Go on. What's wrong?
At that point, she offered a quickie.
They offered quickies. There were two of them.
You're kidding!
l'm not surprised.
Know who you're like? Starsky and Hutch.
- People say so. - They say that all the time.
Really. The sense of initiative, the way you guess things...
An ace team.
We can escort you further.
That's kind but it could be bad luck.
No one's supposed to help?
lf it's tough, the miracle might work.
lf you want to see the hole, it's ready.
What do you know about her?
Only that no one else could climb up there for the honey.
Follow me, please.
Who told you about this place? lt's not very well-known.
My father told me about the bees when l was little.
ls the honey really magical?
Oh, it's magical alright!
Why don't people rush here to eat it then?
The more beautiful a story, the less people believe it.
Our story,
Our story, which you wanted to be real
You gentleman and savage
Your hands made me out
Destroyed on seeing you
On seeing you, seeing you
The brutal tenderness made me submit to your laws
But l was too wary
You were too wary
l was too wary
And l left you
To seek out a honey
Seek out a honey
More than your caresses
Your caresses
Listen, they call to me
They call to you
The bees of lsrael
The bees call you
The bees of lsrael
The bees call you
The bees of lsrael
The bees
The bees of lsrael
They call you, call you
l just made a new vow. lf it works, l'll go back on foot.
Sixty miles walking, 60 miles running.
Slaves of the petals
Sacrificed to love
Virgins, ardent and pure
Feverish and proud
They fly till the end of the day
They celebrate with flowers
Their nuptial adventure
What d'you mean, okay?
l feel great. l've never felt this good.
What the hell is this?
l've never felt this good before.
Can l help you?
What is all this?
This happened in Jesus' time at the Beehive Mountain.
The wild bees have hives here.
- Chance brought you? - Yes, l came by chance.
Chance is craftier than any of us.
But He foresaw it all.
- What's there? - lt's a black hole.
- Can l see it? - lf you want, black is black.
Wait, the dark scares me.
- What can we see? - Everything...
- Even in the dark. - Yes...
lt's beautiful. Thank you.
lt's to thank you for the paintings,
especially if the Modigliani's there.
The Modigliani will be there, don't worry.
l won't be leaving with you. l don't fly on the Sabbath.
The Sabbath?
lt just means a 24-hour delay.
- You will come? - You have my word.
Fine.
See you in Paris.
l'll meet you at the airport.
Honey...
l've been watching you since we boarded
and l'm sure we've already met.
Do you remember me?
No, not yet.
lt's unbelievable.
- Am l disturbing you? - Not at all.
l don't want you to think l'm after an excuse
to pester you.
May l read?
Go ahead. Pretend l'm still over there.
Have you been on TV? Are you a model?
No? Forgive me then.
Not so long ago l recognized someone
who didn't recognize me right away.
And?
l'm so eager to see him, l'm going back a week early.
Did you know El Al doesn't fly on the Sabbath?
l found out at the airport.
l'll have to stop going by looks. You're married?
l hope to be.
- To the guy you recognized? - Yes.
His name's Jesus.
Wow, congratulations!
Jesus...
Are you married?
No, like you l hope to be. lt depends on a little flower.
Behind the ear.
A pretty little ear.
A flower behind the ear?
She said if she was at the airport with the flower,
l could... l could hope...
Maybe she won't even be there.
How are you?
l'm glad to see you. The flight's an hour late.
You're happy then?
That way, we'll be able to talk for a bit.
Can l get a coffee while we wait?
Behind, at the bar. You have to serve yourself.
- Can you leave me with her? - Let me finish my coffee!
Can l have a look at that?
- lt's so small... - lt's new.
Can you call anywhere?
Yes. You can't be called but it's not bad.
lt'll be years before we get it.
Why are you here?
We're here for the same guy as you, to protect him.
Why protect him?
He helped us out in lsrael. He's going to need our protection.
Always cooking something up...
Why were you in lsrael, if you don't mind my asking?
l came to fight a war...
A war against one man.
He's a nasty piece of work.
l think l'm winning. l hope l am.
- That's pretty. - Thank you. Do you know him?
His phone's really small and l asked about it.
Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to announce that flight 648
from Tel Aviv will be two hours late.
We apologize for this delay.
Protection without me then.
- Angry? - No, it's okay.
Mom... The plane's two hours late.
There may be survivors.
Are you sure?
Apparently.
lt came down near Avignon. We can drive down tonight.
Right, let's go.
Thank you.
l'll call back in an hour, if that's okay.
lt's confirmed, the plane crashed near Avignon.
There are survivors.
The Marseilles control tower got a mayday call at 7:30
about a fire on board.
And that was it.
ls it your wife?
Yes.
Anyone want a coffee?
Mind if l have one?
- Can l use your phone? - Here.
Want me to drive a bit?
No, it's okay.
Can you call for more news?
l'd rather not.
How come?
l want to think there are survivors.
There'll be survivors.
lf you knew how ashamed l am...
l'd be ashamed to have me as a friend.
l keep thinking of the guy who lost his wife, not the other.
Don't say that.
Why am l like this?
What can l do?
Please help me, l don't know what to do.
l'm so ashamed.
l don't know what to do, help me, please...
l don't know when l'll be back, nor where l am...
l don't know what to do.
- Where are you going? - Back there.
- Want me to come? - No.
- Where's he going? - To the crash site.
Want me to come with you?
Take a really hopeless person.
When he's in love or talks about it, he becomes...
You can feel the light passing through everything ugly
when you're in love.
Don't look so grim! Look at her! She's...
She's alive!
She is!
lt's not sad, she just said so.
We're getting closer and closer
to love.
l need to reach your son.
l've some information for him about the crash
in which his fiancée died.
He's in Nîmes right now, with his friend Chico.
He's at the bar La Movida every evening.
La Movida's on the square.
He's sleeping in his car,
and l'm here, waiting for him to wake up.
l just know it's him...
You've no idea how handsome a sad guy can be.
What are you doing here?
l don't know...
lt's from a local café, really friendly.
Drink while it's hot.
Been here long?
Watching the invalid?
l wasn't watching, l was with you.
A social worker!
Others' sorrow turns you on?
Why others? Do l look happy?
l suppose you have something to tell me.
Are you going to Kraki's trial in Jerusalem?
What's Kraki?
A bomb brought the plane down.
Kraki's the guy who blew it up. He's being tried in Jerusalem.
l didn't know.
l haven't read, seen or heard news for six months.
l've avoided everyone for six months.
l've been thinking of you for six months.
So some guy killed my wife?
And my friend as well.
Can you help me find a bee?
- A bee? - Yes.
- How did you find me? - Your dad.
The airport security guy let a bomb through in a statue...
Or something like that.
Let's go to Jerusalem.
ln case they find mitigating circumstances.
l dreamed of your fiancée.
What was she like in your dream?
At a bullfight, she said we were the main women in your life,
that you'd been together for centuries
and that it was my turn now.
lt's like a ride then. Each in turn!
Don't you remember me before her?
You've got more memory than me.
l've often dreamed of you but l won't say how.
- Go on. - No.
No, l can't.
Why's your name Jesus?
l was born on December 25th at midnight in a sort of stable.
And if l told you l almost gave my life to Jesus to be a nun?
l'm just a low-cost Jesus.
Good things can be cheap.
ln any case, l knew you at the airport.
How did you feel?
l wanted to cry.
And now?
Now, l want to kiss you.
Drink your coffee.
Here comes your pal.
- l'll leave you. - Not because of me?
No, l need to do some thinking. When's the trial?
We leave in half an hour.
l'll be in the garden.
- Can l sit down? - Of course.
Know what l think?
That all this is coincidence.
We're crazy mortals who think we're intelligent ghosts.
lf one of us falls for you, it'll be by pure chance.
l'm in the garden.
Why did he say that?
Because l told him l liked him a lot.
No hope for us two then?
Not in this life.
You'll never find someone who'll love you like l do.
Forget the other lives.
What did he say?
We talked about the trial.
That's not true. Your eyes gave you away.
What's wrong with them?
l dreamed of them like that last night.
You dream a lot?
Only about you.
Can't we try it out in this life, just a while?
l'll be back.
- What's he doing? - Having a swim.
- ln his clothes? - Yeah.
The trial's postponed a week.
Why's it postponed?
He had a heart attack.
A diplomatic illness.
Weird swimming like that...
ls the water good?
Sorry, l'll get changed.
The trial's postponed a week.
- Why? - A heart attack.
l reckon it's a sham, a diplomatic heart attack...
- So? - So we'll have to wait a week.
That leaves me time to go to Beehive Mountain.
Can l come with you?
l'd like to go too.
What do you want?
Can you do something with this?
- Are you afraid of bees? - Yes. And of women too.
Guess what l just heard.
Kraki's dead.
He was ill then?
Do you know how he died?
...he suffocated.
That's punishment. lf someone tried to escape,
they left them in the sun for several days.
This woman climbed the crumbling rocks for honey.
This is the wild bee.
There were thousands of them here.
They attacked everyone until the day Christ came.
l don't know what He did to them
but they slept while making honey.
These are Roman soldiers.
They massacred everyone, these soldiers.
The artist...
He did the portraits here, all of them.
This is the black hole.
They ate, slept and died together here.
Can we go in there?
Yes, but it's just a black hole, black is black.
l'll get a light. See, this is the black hole.
There were lepers everywhere.
They died, ate and slept here.
lt was horrible in here.
And here... Follow me please...
Be careful...
This here was the hospital.
This black hole was the hospital.
This is where they died.
ln this isolation camp for plague victims,
you'd find murderers, thieves and slaves.
And they caught the plague too. lt was contagious.
So they were all exterminated.
One day, Jesus came to the camp
and He worked three miracles.
He made the rock hard,
so they could get honey in safety.
He stopped the bees stinging them.
And finally... How do you say it...
He made a vow, He made a vow, you see
that people who taste the honey
will have a beautiful story in their next life.
So if you want a beautiful story in your next life,
l have some honey...
Excuse me, follow me please.
There, careful...
See, it's a black hole...
But there were people everywhere.
Come with me, follow me please.
l'm counting on you in my next life.
Subtitles: lan Burley
Processing: Global Vision